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5 Simple Steps to Getting unSTUCK (during Corona times)

(This blog post was taken from The Living Deliberately podcast which you can tune into here.)

Many people around the world are feeling stuck, now more than ever, during the Corona (COVID19) pandemic. And many people want to get unstuck, but don’t know how.

The first place to identify your stuck situation.

There are people who are stuck on:

Fear of getting sick.

Anxiety with their young kids being home with them 24/7.

Apprehension about being pregnant at this time.

Despair that life continuing on.

Distress financially.

Doubt if a vaccine will be created in time.

Embarrassment about their gray hair coming in.

Insecurity that they are a good enough parent.

Nervousness about if their children will get through this.

Panic about leaving their house.

Shock in that their wedding plans, or other family events have to get canceled.

Uncertainty whether they will see their loved ones again.

Worry about if they have enough food in their homes.

Anger they don’t get to have the senior high school or college experience everyone else does.

Aggravation that certain stores, hair salons, or gyms closed down.

Agitation their doctor appointments and surgeries have now been cancelled.

Bitterness they don’t have enough laptops in their house for the distance learning for their children.

Aversion that their spouse gets to work, but they can’t because they need to now be on full time parent duty.

Annoyance with their adult children who just came back home to live with them.

Resentment towards stores who ran out of basic supplies, like toilet paper.

Frustration they aren’t allowed in to see their elderly parents in the nursing home.

Alienation from their community.

Depletion from working now two full time jobs.

Discouragement from the news.

Exhaustion physically, emotionally, and mentally.

Grief over the loss of loved ones who happened to have passed away during this time, unrelated to the Corona virus.

Guilt about being away from their spouse while they are taking care of their elderly parent.

Hopelessness with whether this virus will ever go away.

Hurt by friends who didn’t include them in new on-line groups that have formed.

Isolation for literally being physically alone.

Loneliness for feeling alone.

Longing for loved ones.

Loss of work.

Overwhelm with having to take care of their elderly parents and their children at the same time.

Powerlessness over their unruly kids.

Regret they didn’t take that trip or go on vacation when they could have.

Sadness there won’t be a family holiday meal any time soon.

Shame on their past recent behavior.

The list can go on and on. And the first place to get unstuck is to identify your situation and get as specific as possible.

Then, go through the 5 Simple Steps of The unSTUCK Method:

  1. S = STOP. Take a moment and redirect your attention to the present moment. When you are in a stuck story, your mind is either focused on the past or it’s focused on the future. Being stuck in either of those dimensions will not serve you in getting unstuck. The only thing that will serve you is to get present. Take a moment to pause. Listen to your breath. Breathe deeply.
  2. T = TELL. Identify the emotion(s) you are stuck on. I know this may sound very touchy feely, but please know this is one of the most important parts of this process. Do you know why? Because most people don’t give themselves permission to feel the emotions, or vibrations, that are going through their body. And then you know what happens? They either resist them (and they just keep popping back), or they turn to something else that will give them pleasure in that moment so that they don’t have to feel the emotion (like turning to eating, or drinking, for example). The problem with that is that giving yourself a pleasurable solution is not long-term, and your emotion will still last. The only way to get through an emotion is to let yourself feel it. That’s it. There is no other way.

How do you do this? You simply sit with it. You observe it in your body. You get curious about it. You don’t react on it. You just be with it. If you are feeling stressed, sit if you can sit with that stress instead of running to the refrigerator or going for a drink. Don’t repress your emotions. Just the opposite! Acknowledge them, feel them, and stay with them. When you do this, what will happen just by the power of awareness, is that your emotions will begin to dissipate over time. It always does because emotions are temporary. Don’t take my word for this. Try it. Notice where you are feeling stuck and allow yourself to feel it.

3. U=UNCOVER. Identify your thoughts and then investigate the truthfulness of them. Keep in mind my definition of truth is not what you believe, but what can be proven in a court of law. Just because you believe something doesn’t necessarily make it true. So, for example, I look ugly with my gray hair coming in, or I’m never going to be able to regain my business again, or my kids are going to fall so far behind in school, or whatever your main stuck spot is.  Ask yourself if you could prove your thoughts in a court of all. If not, it’s not true. It’s just your perspective of the situation. All circumstances that happen outside of us are neutral. They are not good or bad. They only get charged when you put your thinking on top of it. So, just to offer an example of this, I know a lot of women are upset now about their gray hair coming in and that with the salons closed, there’s really nothing to do. At the same time, there are women who are experiencing the same thing, but they are seeing it as an opportunity to embrace their gray. Same circumstance, two different responses. And that’s the same for any situation you may be going through, someone else in the world may be going through the same exact thing, but thinking about it differently. You always have the choice of how you want to perceive something.

4. C=CONSIDER. Once you recognize that at least one of your thoughts is not 100% true, recognize what else is in the realm of possibility that you can consider. (By the way, if you’re still stuck on being right about your thought, I encourage you to reach out to a friend or to me, to get some coaching because you won’t be able to get unstuck if you are stuck on your thoughts. It just won’t happen). What else can you consider? Below are some generic considerations for you here, but I encourage you to try to come up with some on your own:

This is temporary.

You are safe.

You are ok.

This is all for the good.

Everything will work out ok as it always does.

You are not alone.

You are loved.

Faith.

Whatever it is, you have to choose a consideration because it’s the taking on of a new consideration that will get you unSTUCK!

5. K=KINDNESS. Place your hands over your heart right now and hold yourself in self-compassion. We all get stuck. Every single human on this earth gets stuck. It’s normal and natural. Remind yourself that you are only human and that getting stuck is a part of life. Hold yourself in self-kindness.

So many people are feeling stuck these days. Each of us is experiencing this pandemic in different ways. What is important is that we practice getting unstuck, both as individuals and collectively as a humanity. It serves no one when you stay stuck. If anything, it only hurts you, and then it impacts those around you. Learn to get yourself unSTUCK, for your sake and for the sake of the world.

To learn more about The Living Deliberately Blueprint, click here.