I was feeling quite stressed about my business recently. The truth is, I really was feeling stressed in general, but I knew the source of my stress was coming from building up my business.
As I do with every stuck situation, I saw down to the computer to process through it. Five Word document pages later, I came to the source of my problem.
While I was uncovering my beliefs (U), I was amazed to realize how many of my beliefs were based on what my husband was and would think about me. Thoughts like:
I believe my husband will think I’m a failure if my business isn’t a success.
I believe my husband already thinks I’m a failure.
I believe my husband thinks I’m worthless.
I believe my husband thinks little of me.
And as I looked at those words, I was like…. Whoa! Was I thinking all of that?
Have I been carrying around all those thoughts in my head?
Do I really believe all of that?
And the bottom line is: after a nice deep, long STUCK process, I had a loving and honest conversation with my husband to share with him all I unearthed.
I already knew my beliefs were limiting, but I still wanted to share them with him.
And hearing him confirm my limiting beliefs allowed for such genuine love to emerge between us.
I laughed, not only as he expressed the value he sees in me, but as he expressed his preference for me to stay home and focus my attention on the home and the children, rather than my business idea.
In other words, here he was, not even wanting me to start a business – while at the same time, I was walking around with the belief that he would think I was a failure if my business didn’t succeed.
Oh, the irony.
Since this revelation, I began to notice how pervasive this phenomenon is in my life – my caring about what others think about me – my decisions, how I parent my children, how my children behave, what I look like, how busy or not busy I am, how hard I work or not, how good (or not) my blog are, etc.
Honestly, I came to the conclusion that I care way more about what others think about me than I care about what I think about myself.
It’s something I never noticed or thought of before, but the moment I allowed myself to be curious about it, so many lights went off that I almost blinded myself.
And so while I am grateful for getting unstuck with the earlier situation, I’ve become a bit more cognizant about thinking twice about what others think of me and how their opinions affect my thinking and choices in my life.
Take a moment and think about this in your own life.
Where do you find yourself putting more weight onto other’s opinions rather thank your own? And how does that limit your? And where can you gain a sense of freedom by letting their opinions go?
The answer to those questions will undoubtedly bring you to a place of growth and healing.