Stuck on Thinking Big

I remember learning from an art teacher in elementary school to “Think Big.”

I don’t remember the art teacher’s name and barely remember how she looks.

But, I remember her teaching us to “Think Big”.

Perhaps it was her way of encouraging confidence in her students.

I have no idea.

But, I do wonder if her particular pedagogical approach could have led to my idiosyncratic inclinations to always “think big” about personal and professional initiatives.

I’m certainly not blaming her or anyone else for this tendency of mine.

It doesn’t really matter anyway that I have this tendency.

What’s important is that I’m aware of it.

Or have friends that catch me when I’m not.

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Last week, the 13-week interactive support group that I created and facilitate (E.A.T. -Eating Awareness Together) concluded.

Each of the participants shared words of gratitude for the gift and value of this group in their lives.

So, of course, this got me excited (because this was an improved upon course that I used to offer in the States, and I wasn’t quite sure how it was going to be received).

Which got me to thinking… hmm… maybe I should be taking this group out of my tiny village and out to the world!

I should be taking this to the nearby local communities.

I should be taking this to the nearest cities.

I should be offering this as a co-existence program between Jewish and Arab women.

I should be traveling to Tel Aviv and Jerusalem.

I should be offering this through the health insurance programs.

I should be branding this program.

think bigI should be THINKING BIG!

Because thinking big will lead to reaching more people!

And reaching more people will lead to more fame!

And more fame will bring more meaning to my life.

And more meaning to my life will bring more happiness.

STOP!

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The moment when an unconscious thought (of believing that something is going to bring me more happiness other than being in this very moment), turns into a conscious thought (that is, that I’m aware that I’m having that thought), a light bulb goes on in my head.

I know I’m stuck.

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So, I Stop and take a breath.

I Tell myself what I’m feeling: Excited and anxious.

And check what may be Underneath this story: Perhaps that I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.  And I should. Because I’m already over 40.

But, then I take a good look at the perspective that I’m holding and Consider if there’s another way:

And yes, I did find another perspective.  In fact, I considered many alternative perspectives, one being: All good things come to those who wait.

And who practice with integrity.

And who gain experience.

And, from that place of humility and modesty, I chose (even though I did send off a few email advertisements during the midst of my impulsivity), to stay on my community and invite more folks to join the group that is currently running.

And be patient.

And witness things unfold one day at a time.

Just as they are meant to.

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