STUCK on Being Scattered

Tuesday 3If I were to tell you right now, in one word, how I feel, I would answer: scattered.

You wouldn’t be able to tell if you saw me and you probably wouldn’t notice it if you spoke with me.

But, I can tell you, that’s what I’m feeling inside.

The question is why.

Why am I feeling scattered and ungrounded, rather than calm and peaceful?

When I take a moment to reflect upon this pattern in my life, this kind of roller-coaster pattern I get into, between feeling relaxed, calm, and at ease – and then feeling like the complete opposite, I try to find the thing that is causing me to feel that way.

  • Often times I point to the weather, because the truth of the matter is, I tend to feel scattered and ungrounded most, when I’m cold – and it’s winter here, so it makes sense that’s what I’ve been feeling recently.
  • Other times, I point my finger at others – people who are just annoying me (non-purposefully) or pushing my buttons (unintentionally) – and I could also point my finger at the political environment.
  • And other times, I wonder if it’s a hormonal thing?

Either way, it’s how I’ve been feeling and it expresses itself in many ways – the most visible way is around the act of eating. When I’m feeling ungrounded, not at ease, and scattered, I tend to eat mindlessly. I tend to eat way more than I need, I tend to eat unconsciously, and I tend to look for (and grab) sugary-food that I only later regret.

Yet, I don’t want to be a victim of the weather, of other people, politics, or even of my hormones.

I want to be in control. I want to live my life deliberately. I want to get unSTUCK.

And when I look at it from a “S.T.U.C.K.” perspective, the very first question I ask myself is: Are you stopping?

In othe words, how’s your stopping practice going?

To which I would answer honestly, I stopped. (Literally.)

I’ve taken a break from it. That’s the truth.

It’s been cold in the mornings.

It’s been dark in the mornings.

I haven’t had much desire to wake up and just sit on my meditation cushion for half an hour, before the sun rises, because, truth be told, I became lazy and also slipped into the belief that I don’t even really need that stopping practice anyway.

I understand it intellectually – and I don’t need to actually practice it.

BONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wrong answer, Shira.

Stopping isn’t something you practice when you need it.

It’s not something you run that only helps you get unstuck.

It’s a practice that is meant to be implemented, everyday, no matter what.

It’s a practice to keep you on track.

It’s a practice to keep you awake.

Of noticing your thoughts, and how they are affecting your feelings.

And how your thoughts are driving your actions.

It all comes from the stopping.

From the centering.

From the accessing the inner Self.

And connection to the Source.

And the moment you give up on the practice, is the moment you give up on yourself.

And slip back into a stuck place.

Which is where I found myself a few days ago.

And which is why I got back on the cushion that very same day.

And set my alarm for 20 minutes.

And today for 30.

So that I could stop.

And just notice.

And just breathe.

And just reconnect.

No matter how boring, uninteresting, or seemingly a waste of time it sometimes seems to be.

And by doing so, I already find myself back in a place of calm, and clarity and therefore, acting from a different place: a place of wisdom.

The stop cannot be underestimated.

It is probably the most powerful part of the practice, and while it is so simple, it’s also probably the most difficult to do.

Because we are not used to stopping.

Stopping seems to go against our grain.

But, it’s a must.

If you want to access and promote a sense of inner well-being.

**************

Have you taken a stop today? If not, what’s stopping you? How can I (if at all) be a support for your stopping practice?

If you did take a stop today, please share below anything from that experience – remembering the practice isn’t about “good” or “bad”, “succeeding” or not, but simply the practice of just being. In that moment. One moment at a time.

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