Yesterday, I went food shopping.
I had meant to arrive at the store around 4:30 in the afternoon and be home in enough time to prepare dinner, but I made a few other stops on the way and got delayed.
As I walked into the market around 6 pm, I started to feel my stomach growl.
I was hungry.
What to do?
At first, I thought to myself, “Just finish your shopping quickly and go home to eat.”
But, after a moment of considering that, I knew it wouldn’t be a quick turnaround and that I would be home at least a good 45 minutes later.
And famished for sure.
So, I went over to the cheese counter and asked to sample a piece of hard cheese.
I ate it.
I enjoyed it.
I thought it would hold me over.
But, it didn’t.
I think I started salivating.
I wanted those chips.
And I could already picture in my mind the most direct route to get them.
Yet, I got stuck on feeling guilty.
“You don’t really want to eat potato chips, Shira, do you?”
“Potato chips? Of all things in the supermarket?”
“That’s processed food, which you try to avoid.”
“Well, ok, maybe these chips are kind of ok, because apparently they have a base from sweet potatoes and beets.”
“Come on, Shira, that’s just good advertising. You know as well as I do that they’re pretty much little-to-no-nutritional-value-good-old potato chips.”
“Go for the rice crackers.”
“But, they’re bland! And I want those chips!”
And there I was.
Stuck in the supermarket.
Having a ridiculous conversation with myself.
On whether I should buy a freakin’ bag of potato chips or not.
Oh, Lord, tell me I’m not alone!
So what did I do?………
I Stopped and took a nice long breath.
And Told myself how I’m feeling: Guilty as charged for wanting to eat something I consider not such a healthy choice.
And checked in to see what may have been Underneath it all: a fear of gaining weight???
So, I Considered if there was another perspective: I could choose to feel proud for respecting my body in this moment – which was hungry and wanted to be fed. I could choose to respect myself for identifying exactly what my body craved for in that moment. And, I could choose to enjoy the chips instead of feeling guilty over them.
And, as I picked the bag off the shelf, opened it, and tasted my first beet chip that I’ve had in years, I delighted in the moment.
And forgave myself for getting stuck on feeling guilty in the first place.